


Scrummy

by Ack_Emma



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Cancelling each other out, Dialogue-Only, F/F, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Nudity, The Arrangement (Good Omens), spa, suggestive fruit symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ack_Emma/pseuds/Ack_Emma
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley are both on assignment at a nude, luxury spa.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Scrummy

“Ngk.”

“What is it?”

“S’awkward, angel.”

“I know it’s awkward, Crowley!”

“Didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I can’t cope with this, us both nude, I need to step away.”

“Aziraphale, wait! Not… it’s not because you're not beautiful like this. You’re… yeah.”

“Oh. Well. Thank you, my dear. You are also quite fetching when presenting as a woman.”

“Nuh.”

“So, you’re here to…?”

“Tempt the heiress? Been part of her party entourage for a few weeks now. You’re -”

“Here to bless the heiress, yes. I do try to blend in but frequenting an upscale, clothingless women’s spa is quite outside the realm of normal for me. Why do humans think it’s comfortable and fine to gambol about naked if you’re all the same gender?”

“Beats me, I thought that was one of your side’s.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Wouldn’t be the first time for us, though. Ancient Greece. We even wrestled a few times. Remember all that oil?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Aziraphale. My eyes are up here.”

“I, I’m terribly sorry, my dear. What was the question?”

“We’ve hung around naked before. Why’s it awkward now?”

“Oh, Greece was so long ago! That all happened centuries before I took you out for oysters and we had such a lovely time and also that lunch in Paris…. Since then we’ve been keeping company socially, and now -”

“Now it’s awkward.”

“Quite.”

“Tempting and blessing the same target, cancelling each other out. Might as well have both stayed home. Wanna get out of here?”

“I can’t do that! I told you, Michael’s a stickler! The blessing has to get done.”

“Toss you for the heiress in the naked spa, then.”

“You haven’t a stitch on you, Crowley. Where, exactly, are you hiding that coin?”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out.”

“Oh good Lord. Foul Tempter, I have no choice but to thwart you. As protector of humanity I shall keep the heiress safe from your evil wiles.”

“Yes, thwart me! Thwart me into next week, O Guardian of the Eastern Gate. I think I saw an empty treatment room at the end of the hall. Could work on our awkwardness problem in there.”

“The room by the table with the scrummy fruit bowl?”

“Saw you eyeing those cherries.”

“It was the peaches that looked perfectly ripe to me.”

“Well then. Shall we?”

“After you.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's fruit time. 🍒🍑👀


End file.
